Send Me Into the Woods Alone

Essays on Motherhood

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Dispatches from modern motherhood by a reluctant suburbanite

Send Me Into The Woods Alone is an honest, heartfelt, and often hilarious collection of essays on the joys, struggles, and complexities of motherhood.

These essays touch on the major milestones of raising children, from giving birth (and having approximately a million hands in your vagina) and taking your beautiful newborn home (and feeling like you’ve stolen your baby from the hospital), to lying to kids about the Tooth Fairy and mastering the subtle art of beating children at board games. Plus the pitfalls of online culture and the #winemom phenomenon, and the unattainable expectations placed on mothers today.

Written from the perspective of an always tired, often anxious, and reluctant suburbanite who is doing her damn best, these essays articulate one woman’s experience in order to help mothers of all kinds process the wildly variable, deeply different ways in which being a mom changes our lives.

Contributors

Erin Pepler

Erin Pepler is a freelance writer who lives in the greater Toronto area with her husband and two kids. Her work has appeared in Today’s Parent, ParentsCanada, SavvyMom, Romper, Scary Mommy, MoneySense, Broadview Magazine and more. You can find Erin on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram as well as at erinpepler.com.
Chapter Title Contents Contributors Pages Year Price

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- 2 $0.20

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The essay "The Miracle of Life and Other Feats of Strength." 8 $0.80

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The essay "A Million Hands in One Vagina." 9 $0.90

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The essay "When the Baby Snatcher is You." 8 $0.80

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The essay "Lullabies from Pop Radio." 3 $0.30

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The essay "Everyone Lies on the Internet." 8 $0.80

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The essay "The Art of Beating Kids at Board Games." 5 $0.50

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The essay "Something Terrible is Going to Happen to your Family." 8 $0.80

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The essay "Interludes in my Driveway." 3 $0.30

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The essay "The Thing You Love Most Isn’t Always Fun." 8 $0.80

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The essay "I Want to Be a Park Dad." 6 $0.60

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The essay "My Feral Child, My Love." 5 $0.50

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The essay "Zombie Rats." 7 $0.70

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The essay "The Slow and Tragic Death of Santa Claus." 8 $0.80

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The essay "The Suburban Dream." 12 $1.20

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The essay "You’re Not Superwoman and That’s Okay." 8 $0.80

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The essay "Places I Have Failed." 10 $1.00

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The essay "Why Mommy Drinks." 5 $0.50

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The essay "My Job Is Not a Hobby." 9 $0.90

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The essay "Sure, I’m a Painter." 7 $0.70

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The essay "Watch Me Hold a Grudge." 7 $0.70

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The essay "Send Me into the Woods Alone." 4 $0.40

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The essay "All Tragedy Is Yours." 6 $0.60

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The essay "Your Parents Were Never Old." 8 $0.80

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The essay "I Don’t Always Want to Sleep Through the Night." 5 $0.50

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The essay "Babies are Going to Smash the Patriarchy." 4 $0.40

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The essay "Please Don’t Grow Up to be Assholes." 4 $0.40